Last weekend, I stood under a blanket of stars and gazed into the sky and across Buntzen Lake. The water’s surface reflected the night sky and snow-capped mountains while I reflected upon my thoughts. Minutes passed and I kept my sight fixated on the horizon. The mountains stopped looking like mountains and took random shapes, like vases and black puffs of smoke. At one point the reflection felt more real than the sky and I felt like I was floating in space, and the mountains became an asteroid of perfect symmetry. Its moments like this that I live for. That fleeting moment where everything suddenly looks different, feels different, and you forget who you are and where you’ve been. It was a moment of clarity, where I realized that I am a total outsider. Too soft for the raw unforgiving force of nature, too hard and ignorant to contribute anything of purpose to society.
It was during this fleeting moment that I realized I am truly alone, and it was beautiful.